a couple talking

When to say it, how to say it, and where to say it.

We have all been there: you want to be close to a special person in your life, but they have something that keeps you at a distance — bad breath. It can be hard to spend time regularly with someone who has chronic bad breath, and it may be even harder to tell them about this embarrassing problem that they seem unaware of. It is important to be considerate of their feelings and to treat them the way you would want to be treated if you were in their situation. In this article we will go over what to do, and what not to do, when letting someone know they have bad breath.

When you shouldn’t tell someone their breath smells

Before we get into strategies for letting someone know they have bad breath, it is important to know when not to tell them their breath smells.

Do not tell someone they have bad breath…

  • If you are not close to this person
    Many surveys have shown that the overwhelming majority of people would want someone to tell them if they had bad breath, but they prefer to hear it from a friend, family member, or someone close to them rather than from a co-worker or acquaintance. If you aren’t close to this person, you probably do not have to put up with their bad breath that often, so just deal with it. If it is a bigger problem, ask someone close to them to tell them they have bad breath.

  • If their bad breath isn’t chronic
    We all suffer from temporary halitosis (bad breath) at certain points in our lives. It may be due to illness, medications, a spicy meal, or the occasional bout of morning breath after a late night. If someone has temporary bad breath from normal factors such as these, be understanding and, at most, offer them a mint or a stick of gum. Only tell them they have a problem if they constantly have bad breath.

  • In a public setting
    Telling someone they have bad breath is an embarrassing and often uncomfortable situation. Doing it in public, where other people can hear, greatly amplifies the discomfort for the person with bad breath. Limit those negative feelings by bringing up the topic only in a private setting.

  • If they can’t do anything about it
    Tell someone they have bad breath only when they can actually DO something about it. If you are on a date, wait until the end to tell them, or until you are somewhere they can brush their teeth. If it is a co-worker, don’t tell them at the start of the day; wait until they are nearly ready to leave. This helps them, because they won’t have to feel self-conscious the whole time they are with you.

Although it is not a good idea to tell someone they have bad breath in the situations above, it is perfectly acceptable to help them out by offering a mint or a piece of gum without telling them their breath smells.

Strategies for letting them know they have bad breath

There are several ways to let someone know they have bad breath. Which method is best for you depends on your comfort level with the person, how close you are to them, and the time and place.

General rules:
The closer you are to the person, the more direct you should be.
The more regular the problem, the more direct you should be.

Being direct

It may be a good idea to try dropping hints before telling someone about their bad breath directly. If you have dropped many hints and they still have bad breath all the time, it might be time to tell them directly. Being direct avoids any confusion that dropping hints can cause, and it is the most effective way to help them.

Gently let them know

There are different ways of being direct, and which one to use depends on the situation, but in any case you should avoid using colorful adjectives or similes to describe their breath. For example, don’t say things like “your breath smells like vomit/sewer gas/rotten eggs,” “have you been eating rancid animal feces?,” or “your breath reeks/stinks.” Although you might think it is funny and they may laugh it off, it will hurt them more than if you had gently let them know their breath was bad. Here are some gentle ways to let them know they have bad breath:

To start the conversation you can use one of these phrases:

“I noticed a problem and wasn’t sure if you’re aware…"
"Sorry to mention this, but…"
"If I had this problem I would want someone to tell me…"
"I’m sorry, but…”

Then you let them know with one of these phrases:

“You need to brush your teeth."
"You need a breath mint or a stick of gum."
"Your breath smells a bit off."
"You have a problem with bad breath."
"You have bad breath.”

After (or before) you let them know, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to tack on a term of endearment such as honey, dear, or sweetie.

Combine these phrases to create a sentence you believe would fit the situation best. A complete example could be something like this:

“Honey … I noticed a problem and wasn’t sure if you’re aware … your breath smells a bit off.”

Be aware of your tone

You communicate not only through the words you say, but also through your body language and tone of voice. Don’t be dramatic, demeaning, or critical when you tell them. Be compassionate, loving, and understanding.

Help them out

After you let them know about their bad breath problem, it is important that you help them with it. Be completely honest when answering any questions they may have. Offer them a mint, gum, floss, or the chance to brush their teeth. If they are at your place, buy them a toothbrush they can keep there to use when they come over.

Another way to help them is to share that you used to have the same problem. Let them know that everyone has this problem at one time or another, and then offer some solid remedies that have worked for you in the past. Tell them about specific products or techniques that have helped you. Tell them about this very website, and point them to our main articles on What Causes Bad Breath and, more importantly, How To Get Rid of Bad Breath.

Explain to them that they may have a dental issue, an infection, or a health problem, and that they should make an appointment with a dentist.

Dropping hints

Dropping hints is an excellent way to let someone know they have bad breath without actually telling them. It works well when you are not close to the person, when the person is only suffering from temporary halitosis, or when it isn’t the time or place to tell them directly. Some say there is no better way to “tell” someone something than to get them to think it for themselves. Dropping subtle hints works well, but we all know how hard it can be to think up hints that will get the person thinking about their breath without being too blunt. Dropping hints is usually less embarrassing for both parties, but the downside is that they may not get the hint. Here are some ways to hint that they have bad breath:

Pretend you have the problem

A good way to hint at something is to pretend that YOU’RE the one with the problem. If you’re talking about yourself, you can’t offend anyone else. Since you’re obviously not the one with bad breath, the other person will wonder why you’re talking about your own breath, and will then start thinking about theirs.

Here are a few practical examples of things you could say to get someone thinking about their bad breath without offending them:

“What’s that smell, is it my breath?"
"Hey, do I have bad breath today?"
"Is it just me or does my breath smell?”

Upon finding out that you DON’T have bad breath, the other person should start wondering why you asked a question like that, and conclude that it is their own breath that smells.

They may respond to one of the questions above with “No. Do I?” or “No, does mine?”, in which case you could offer to “take a smell” (pretending, of course) and then let them know that it actually does smell a “bit off.”

Another way to pretend you have the problem is to talk about a product that has solved your bad breath. Here is an example:

“I just got these awesome breath mints. Have you tried these yet? A friend of mine told me that I have corpse breath - who knew?! Anyway, these things are amazing. I’m sharing them with everyone. Try one and see if it doesn’t make your breath a thousand times better.”

Offer them a mint/stick of gum

This is the easiest way to hint that someone has bad breath, but also the least obvious. This method is great if you are not close to the person, or if they are just suffering from temporary halitosis. To do it, simply offer them a mint or a piece of gum casually. To be even more subtle, take one yourself before offering them one too. If the person declines and you really want them to get the hint, you can say something like, “You know… when a friend offers you a mint, you really should take it.”

Practice oral hygiene in front of them

This is a great way to let others know that fresh breath and proper oral hygiene are important to you, without telling them directly that their breath smells. Here are a few ways to do it:

If the person who has bad breath is a close friend or lover: After you eat a meal together, once you get to their place or yours, pull out some floss and say something like: “Would it weird you out if I flossed my teeth right now? I hate the feeling that something is stuck in my teeth. Would you like some?” Then you can both laugh at how silly the two of you look flossing your teeth together. A good line to lighten the mood is to jokingly say, “This is soooo romantic!” Once you have established that oral care is important to you, ask if you could leave a toothbrush at their place, and offer to give them their own toothbrush to leave at yours. After meals, you can brush your teeth together. It might be awkward at first, but everyone enjoys fresh breath, and they will appreciate it. Many of the women I have done this with think it is cute that we floss and brush our teeth together and that they have their own toothbrush at my place.

If the person who has bad breath is a co-worker: Brush your teeth in the bathroom after lunch. When my co-workers first saw me brushing my teeth in the bathroom, they laughed at me in a joking manner, but the next week two of them were in there brushing their teeth with me. You can also show them your oral care on-the-go kit and say something like, “I know I’m weird, but I just can’t stand not brushing my teeth after I eat,” and then go brush your teeth.

Hopefully, showing your enthusiasm for fresh breath will make them self-conscious about their own breath and encourage them to practice better oral care.

Getting help from another person

One way to let people know they have bad breath is to tell one of their close friends or relatives. Most of the time, people are not as offended when someone close tells them about their bad breath. If you feel that you are close enough to that person yourself, then you could be the one to break the news.

Recruit a child — Getting bad news from an adorable child is not as painful as getting it from a peer. If possible, ask a cute child (the younger the better) to tell the person they have bad breath in exchange for a piece of candy. It’s a win for you and a win for the kid, and it might be easier on the person receiving the news.

Leave an anonymous note

This is a good tactic, especially if you are not close to the person. You can leave a note in their locker, desk, book, or anywhere they are sure to see it. Be careful to put it somewhere others won’t stumble upon it, as that can make a private matter public. Here are some example notes you can use:

“I noticed a problem that you might not be aware of. You have a problem with bad breath. This doesn’t change the fact that I think you are awesome. It’s just that if I had this problem, I would want someone to tell me.”

If you don’t feel comfortable telling them in person, an anonymous note or card delivered by mail can do the job discreetly without revealing your identity.

You can also send them an anonymous email through our Anonymously Tell Someone They Have Bad Breath tool.